THE LEGEND OF BERNIE LEE

Tune: McNamara's Band

REFRAIN:
Let me tell you the tale of Bernie Lee,
A legend in his time.
His likeness you will never find
In all of humankind.
He preached the Word with props and verve,
With drama and with wit.
Though some there were whose brows were raised
Many a heart was lit.
(N.B. All refrains after first one begin "SO GOES THE TALE OF BERNIE LEE...")

1.
One Christmas Eve in the candlelight,
While not the least bit coy,
His benediction ended with
A leap of season's joy.
He somersaulted down the aisle.
Then silence filled the air.
A gasp was heard of "Bernie,
What the hell are you doin' there?"
2.
Remember to the mountain
Went Moses for the law.
At Pentecost the Spirit came,
Blowing free to all.
A ladder was the mountain.
To the balcony he climbed.
And the Spirit's long extension cord
Had a blowing fan behind.
3.
When telling of the devil
He had them all beware
How Satan tempted Luther
In the castle cold and bare.
As the devil stood behind him
Luther threw the ink.
And Bernie shot the poster paint
On walls that once were pink.

4.
Running short of props one day
Bernie climbed the spire.
He captured two live pigeons -
To their legs he tied a wire.
Flying from a kite string
One hit a lady's head.
Pandemonium exploded
As the congregation fled.
5.
With whirling drills and axes
He'd illustrate his point,
Ignoring what the Board had said
Of noses out of joint.
To serve and be a clown for Christ
To Bernie was a treat;
While loving, patient Isobel
Would look down at her feet.

© September 1998 Doreen Lankshear-Smith
Cambrian Vignettes #2
January 2001

Sadly, Bernie passed away in Kingston, Ontario on May 8, 2004.
Bernie and his humour will be greatly missed.

Dave McMaster & His Hat Isabella McInnes - Eyeing the Future

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